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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Took a few days off

Well I'm back and to kick it off I'm in a dirty joke telling kind of mood. This one is kind of long so you will have to go a long for the ride if you want to get the punch line. Here goes,
A teenage boy is leaving for school, when his grandpa pull him aside and hands him a duck. The grandpa says "take this duck to school with you and when you get home tell me about the day you had with your duck." The boy gets on the bus headed for school when a teenage girl asks him
"Can I have your duck?" "what's in it for me?" he replies. "I'll fuck you for him" the girl says. He thinks about it and decides it's a fair deal. Later that day on the ride home. The boy tells the girl "I need my duck back, I'll fuck you for the duck." She agrees, next as the boys is leaving to get off the bus, the duck gets slammed by the bus door and gets hurt. The bus driver feels horrible about this so he offers the kid 25 dollars. Our teenager walks in the front door and grandpa is waiting to hear all about his day with the duck. "How did your day go?" The boy thinks about it for a minute and says "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and twentyfive bucks for a fucked up duck." ta-da.
On to other less funny and important stuff. Like how I'm hating being single, it's not even like I have bad luck with the ladies. I have no luck with them. In the last year and a half I've had one girlfriend. Who by chance just got married. I've had two girlfriends in the last 7 years, that's not to say I have not had a chance or two. It just never seems to work out that we end up boyfriend/girlfriend. I wonder if I somehow sabotage myself without even knowing it. I'm lonely, in more than just one aspect of my life. At 29 it's really hard for me to make new friends, I don't drink so going out to the clubs with people is not a great option, not like there are good clubs in Ventura anyway. I live an hour away from anyone I work with. My best friend is my roommate and he is leaving to go back to England for at least three months and he may end of staying there for a few years. SIGH I need to turn this frown upside down, I'll do that by telling what I thought of the new movie
Horrible Bosses:
This movie was pretty damn funny, first off I like Jason Batemen a ton. He just seems like a nice guy that has a great way of delivering his lines. Jason Sudeikis is growing on me like a fungus.....Hmmm sudeikis kind of sounds like a fungus. The guy Charlie Day who plays Charlie on "It's Always Sunny" is a big hit with people. I like him but don't care much for that show. The bosses are the ones that steal the show. Kevin Spacey plays a great sociopath who cares only about himself and that his much younger wife is not sleeping around on him. Colin Farrell kills it as a messed up loaded half wit who only wants to use his dead fathers business to fiances his drug and prostitute habits. However the best horrible boss award goes to the ever so hot Jennifer Aniston (the beginning of her last name is close to anus...Jennifer Anuston, could be her porn name.) In everything I have ever seen her in, she is miss goodie two shoes, so when you hear her say something like "I'm going to have you fuck my mouth" it makes your jaw drop. All in all I think this was a movie worth seeing if you like to laugh.

1 comment:

Byakuya said...

Haha nice joke, that would be a duck well spent =3