Beachbody Banner

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Funk that

So it's been 11 days since I last wrote a blog. I don't know why I could not seem to pull myself together enough to type on here. I guess I have been a little depressed lately. No one particular thing is bringing me down. It just seems like ever few months I start to get an overwhelming feeling of failure or like my life is lame, or headed no where with no one really in it. Now I know that most of that is just me feeling sorry for myself. I have never been diagnosed with depression, but I believe it runs in my family.
I'm 29 years old, I have never had a serious relationship. I don't have any kids, which is a good thing and a bad thing. I love kids and think being a father is going to be one of the most rewarding things I will do in my life. (is it weird that the whole time I'm typing this in my head the words have a British accent on them. I attribute that to Russel Brand I just watched "Arthur".) I'm in school to get my bachelors, 11 years after I graduated high school. I work at 2 different rehabs one for teens and one for adults. I like my jobs, but know they are not the career I want. I have an idea of what I want to do, work in sports marketing or that's what sounds good when I tell people what I want to do when I get my bachelors. However there is a lot of fear around it, if I'll like that type of work, if I can even get a job, if that jobs going to pay me enough.
I talk a lot about how I want to start my own business, yet I'm the kind of person that does well with lots of structure and direction. So would I ever really be able to run my own company? Who knows, I feel like I'm just throwing up all over this blog. Like I'm a 17 year old little girl writing in her diary. Oh well it does make me feel better. There is a plan, I just have to trust the plan for me is a good one. I feel like I have said this all before so, so many times.

1 comment:

Jess said...

A blog is just like a public diary, it is meant to be thrown up in! All of the fears you have are ones that I have or have had in the past Den. Take them one day at a time. Having a family doesn't mean you will immediately be happy and no job or career is totally financially stable. I like reading what is going on in your head so could you do it more please?
Love you!